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 So I thought I’d give online dating a try, I live in a small town without many options in the dating department, plus my sister has known people who are in happy relationships that started online. I had been registered at a free site for a while, but gave up hope after finding mostly guys in “open relationships” and other unattractive qualities. I had decided to hide my profile, but not cancel it, just in case I wanted to give it another shot.

Well, I couple of weeks ago, I thought I would take a look to see if there was anyone new I might be interested in. I quickly found a cute guy that lived about an hour away. He was online at the same time I was, so when I looked at his page it alerted him. He IM’d me through the site’s IM system and we briefly talked. I couldn’t stay online for very long so we exchanged AIM names and agreed to talk another time. 

The next time we communicated we seemed to get along quite well. We talked a little about our interests and music and other, ‘getting to know you’ stuff. He seemed humorous and interesting. After several times AIMing he asked if I would like to go out to dinner. We exchanged phone numbers with the intention of speaking the next day. I believe it was Sunday when he asked me out and figured out that Wednesday would work best for the both of us. He seemed really cool and I looked forward to speaking with him on the phone, and was excited about going on a date, which would be my first one in a looooong time.

Well, when I started this I thought it would motivate me to do creative things with myself, and I would be posting about certain things in my life. As I’ve found out, blogging is harder than it looks, unless you are very dedicated or really into yourself…lol. 

At first I was reading and commenting on a lot of people’s blogs, these past few weeks I’ve been lazy and spending most of my time over at a forum that I love. I guess I shouldn’t put a lot of pressure on myself, but I can’t help it. When I stop by blogs that I read I get really annoyed when they don’t post very often, and I am doing the exact same thing. So here is my plan:

  • Pick a specific time 2-3 times a week and write anything that comes to mind 
  • Set aside a half an hour on those days to actually write.
  • One of the three days, I can post video links, or anything else that I feel like sharing.
  • Use at least part of my computer time for the week visiting new blogs and commenting on blogs I like
  • I need to realize that I am the only person that can make this blog interesting, if only for myself
  • Use my new camera to take pictures with the goal of adding more images to my blog(but not for fluff)
  • When I have ideas for a post, write them down, then use them
  • Don’t beat myself up if I don’t follow my ‘rules’

Well, that’s all for now. Hopefully I can be a little more consistent and follow through, as this is something that I really want to do, if only for proving that I can keep a commitment to myself.

I got this from my friend Vikas’s  blog. You too can create your own super hero at the Hero Factory

Something fun to do on a Sunday afternoon, hope you enjoy!!!

myhero

This story was something I wrote on a forum I belong too. The topic of the thread had to do with AA(alcoholics anonymous) People were discussing the way AA relies a lot on the idea of putting your life in the hands of a higher power, “god or god as you know him”. Many of the people were pretty negative about the idea of AA, which I understand. If you want to read an interesting viewpoint that is against the organization you can find that here.  This is my AA experience.

 I am not really a religious person. I went to a catholic school growing up yet my mother’s family is jewish. My sister just went to Israel and we both are exploring judaism right now. I like the way they(jews) approach faith but my problem is I don’t think the bible is the word of god so that is sort of a problem. I also have a lot of books about wicca and polytheism. My problem is I don’t have much discipline went it comes to religious practice and apparently I don’t have the faith to follow through on any of it.

My ex boyfriend had to go to AA for some court stuff and I went with him. I definitely felt it was cultish, we went to several different meetings in different towns and some were better than others. One we went to was alright but we knew a lot of the people there and many of them were active drinkers and drug users. The ones who were sort of the leaders, I felt were trying to suck me in, giving me all sorts of book and their phone numbers and being all around pushy and weird.

One of the books I got was “Twenty-Four Hours A Day” It’s a small book and each day of the year has an AA thought of the day, Meditation of the day, and Prayer of the day. Some of the things in the book are a little weird but some actually helped me It was shortly after the AA stuff that I ended up homeless and dealing with a lot of serious mental health issues. I felt helpless about pretty much every aspect of my life and sometimes I would flip through the book and find things that made me feel a little better. I just went to find the book and found a page I marked.

Some words from the meditation of the day: “The calm and sane mind sees spiritual things as the true realities and material things as only temporary and fleeting” The prayer for the day was ” I pray I may have a calm and sane mind. I pray I may look up, around, and away from myself” At the time I was a mess and as my dad said I was in ‘survival’ mode. I kind of had to not focus on the things that were actually going on and had to put my mind someplace outside of me or I was going to go more crazy than I already was. Some of the words brought me comfort and something else to focus on. It didn’t all of a sudden make everything all better, but it helped a little.

Maybe some people going through some really bad things with their alcoholism need to put their faith in something else, like I had to. Not really sure how it works for drinking and drugging but it helped me a little going through homelessness and mental health issues. I didn’t go to any meetings after the few I went to with my ex boyfriend and I don’t really know all of the ins and outs of the organization. The previous story was just my limited experience, which was really only had to do with that one little book.

I have chronic pain and this has been one of my worst months. Maybe it’s all the snow and wet weather but whatever it is it really blows. A couple of weeks ago my dog completely took me out. I decided to take him for a long walk on a nice day and go to pick up my cell phone that I forgot at work the previous night. I knew it was probably a bad idea to bring him with me, but I did anyways. The night before my lower back had these terrible pains so that every time I moved in my bed I was letting out little yips because it hurt so much. So I decide the next morning to take my overly excited rambunctious large dog out with me. I thought I would just take my walking stick/cane for added support. Now, I’m only 30, so when I use it I always feel like a cripple, it’s sort of embarrassing , but when I’m with my dog I just pretend like I’m some sort of sporty hiker.

Well, several blocks away from my house we round the corner and there is a guy walking his pit-bull. I have absolutely nothing against pit-bulls, I really like them, but this dog was just as excited as mine was. His owner was visibly stressed and trying to wrangle his dog away from mine. My dog weighs probably only 20 or so pounds less than me so when he wants to go, I’m screwed. We were walking in the middle of the street because there weren’t any sidewalks in that area and even if there were they would have been impassable because of the snow. As soon as he realized it was another dog, I went flying. I’m sure it wasn’t pretty either. My dog got away from me and he and the other dog were in each others faces snarling and barking at each other. As soon as I got up I dragged him away and around the corner. Then… another person and their dog appeared. I got my dog settled down and he sat nicely as the other dog and owner came by. 

 

I then got my self together and hobbled home. I still had to walk to my job to get my phone because I don’t have a land line and that is my only phone. So now, not only did I look like a cripple with my walking stick, I was walking like one too. One good thing came out of the fall , I think it knocked my back into place because I really haven’t  had that sharp pain since then. Or it could be that my whole body pain distracted me from the back pain, who knows. I was also all skinned up like a little kid. 

Well, now I’m getting over that injury, but my shoulder is really been driving me nuts. I feel like as one thing gets better in regard to my health, something else flares up. It drives me crazy!!!!! (like I need any help in that department)

All I have to say is:   Hurry up Summer!!!!!

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